Where are we going to land? We’re closer than we’ve ever been and yet, so far. Our feet must be ready for the journey ahead. They are what connect us to the ground. The very last thing between me and the earth beneath me. But they must be receiving messages from the ground, communicating with it in a way my brain can’t, nor my hands. The earth is saying, it’s time! They’re ready to let their freedom reign. And you’re ready to carry them.
I think it all starts here as we trade this dream in for another at the dream recycling center. But we cashed this one in for big time. We worked hard and must have been doing it for a reason beyond our understanding. How else could this be real? I’m hanging on now. There is something major in our cards, otherwise this wouldn’t be happening. Things like this don’t happen in reality, at least not mine. We eased out of the dream in perhaps just the perfect manner, the perfect timing, the perfect closing of doors and perfectly oriented frame of action. The chances for all these things to align are so infinitesimal that it’s much like a universe is being created. That’s how I know.
So where should we go? I have too many suggestions and only a few requirements. Freedom might be harder than I’m bargaining. So many options, so little of them pleasing. But we are free. Free to wander into our new world and not even know it. Free to wander away from our new world, free to walk in circles around it. Free to find it and do with it what we please. Even free to never find it.
Some things are better from far away. It’s good to know what those things are and arrange life accordingly. Everything in its right place. It’s tempting to be close to, even part of the things you admire. But beauty in a view is work up close, is damaging, is responsibility. It is easier just to look at from a safe distance. Although you may not see the moon through it while you sleep.
I guess that’s why we’re rearranging. There is nothing wrong with either side. Grass is grass and every girl has panty stains. There is good and bad of good and good and bad of bad. Approach with caution, care and perspective. You do have to approach to know, though. Get up real close and go in for a kiss. Then you’ll know where it should go, where it will do best for you. There is a story to be told of each, but which allows you to tell a better story? Well, that’s a-whole-nother question. Which story would you rather tell? You have two to choose from. One from beneath the silk oak and one from the view.
I just sat down to think. Do you ever do that? Usually if we “better sit down for this”, its gonna be heavy. But I just started thinking (and sitting) and figured out I am just tired and actually better not think after all. Nonetheless, its amazing how long some days are. Are they all long but some feel shorter? Or are they all short but some feel long? The day’s ways might always baffle me unless one of them brings me some revealing piece of information I was missing from the rest. But one won’t. I guess that is what wine is for. I’m too tired to get up for that, though. I am way to tired for inspiration. I’m even too tired for gossip. I’m tired enough to admit that I don’t care. I still have questions though, which tells me I have a little left.
How long is this going to go on? For some reason, I have this weird feeling like I am forcing something that shouldn’t be. This is a scary one. Well, like being in a hedge maze with an overwhelming feeling that I’m heading toward a dead-end. No biggie. Right? As long as I don’t mind turning around and going back. No, it’s not quite like that. It does feel scary. Like I created a monster that I don’t know how to turn off, and it’s turned on me. No. I think I feel lonely. Yes. How strange to analyze the metaphors that brought me here. I feel lonely in a notion, a positive notion. Which, I see, is almost worse than being alone in a dark place. Because if I’m wrong, and my positivity fails me, well…At least a pessimist can always be pleasantly surprised. It’s not that I am doubting the power of hope and optimism. I believe that practicing these things in all facets of life do pay off, eventually anyway. However, I have reason to believe that my own positive energy is being canceled out. And it makes me tired…and lonely to believe my efforts are futile. I am definitely not an endless supply of the good stuff. I have to fill up somehow, somewhere too. But at my low points, it would be nice not to be losing just because I’m out of gas.
So how long is it gonna go on? And what am I fighting for again? Just two questions from a tired mind. The rest aren’t coherent. I just can’t wait for something and can’t wait to know what it is.